“I won’t tell him there is no meat in it.”

Several years ago, after reading Dr. Michael Greger’s book “How Not to Die”, I started my personal change towards a more plant based eating pattern.  This has had fits and starts, highs of going full whole food vegan some days, and lows of consuming 1000+ calories as a McDonald’s double cheese burger meal in 5 minutes. When I succeeded in eating totally clean by eating whole foods and 100% plant based, I was usually cooking for myself.  My son and husband would give it a try, my son dramatically eating like it was torture, my husband showing humbleness and gratefulness. Over time, larger meals that included outside family and friends was exercised out of love (why else do we cook for others?).  I wasn’t into hiding vegetables much, and have never liked to use any of those plant based meat alternatives. 

However, hiding beans has become my Creativity on a Small Scale.

Beans played a big part, thanks to Dr. Greger and their versatility in some of the cuisines we liked in our house anyway such as Indian and Latin American food.  Whenever I see a new recipe that involves lots of beans, especially one that is easy and fast, and uses minimal expensive ingredients and gadgets, I am sucked in.  I memorize the ingredients list and directions immediately and add whatever I need to my grocery list.  I will often plan on making this new beany recipe for my small family and others the next chance I get. 

These bean experiments often result in very good food.  Those trying it agree, except the matured son will often give the comment, “It’s good, Mom. But…..it’s just not for me.”  Often there are left overs we try to send away.  One often heard comment I get from extended family or friends taking it home to others, often men, is “I won’t tell him there is not meat in it.” 

Why?  Is it the generational, Western cultural, and gendered assumption that a meal is only a meal and only worth the time to ingest if it has meat in it?  As if eating something that has just as much protein, fat, and carbs is not worth it.  As if eating something that could cause health rather than take health away from someone is a sign of weakness.  Is it the lack of risk? 

I am sure there are other reasons.  Protein from meat is more easily digested and absorbed than protein from plants.  We are obsessed with protein consumption as we have been over-influenced by media and those with loud enough voices to tell us we are special enough for them to give advice to.  We have been told that it is manly. 

The truth is, and research has already born this out, those of us eating our no-meat, beany dishes are more likely to live longer and without the need for loads of medications or procedures.

So then why do we need to lie and trick other adults into eating something without meat like we will trick a child to eat their vegetables?  We already know that a child’s palate is influenced by the parents or caregivers.  This comes about by what food is available, introduced, and how it is talked about around the child.  “You probably won’t’ like this.”  “This isn’t for you.”  “This will give you gas and you hate gas.”  “There are too many carbs in this, you can’t have it.” “Don’t eat that, you’ll get skinny.”  “I don’t eat it unless it has meat.”  “We don’t eat vegetarian.”

Can’t an adult make up their own mind?  Like they will starve without meat.  Like one experience with a no-meat dish will be like the other experience with a no-meat dish.  Like we have lost our basic understanding of macronutrients and now rely on Tik Tok influencers to educate us on our nutrition needs.  Like one meal will change our life and God forbid it will be a no-meat one.  Like we have excepted a hunter-gatherer eating pattern but not its physical activity behavior.  Like one meal defines your diet.

Even when I am in a good plant based phase where I have successfully avoided meat and other animal foods for a good while, and have had the pleasure of cooking for my family in the same way, I will except the hospitality and gifts of others when offered.  If someone were to cook up some mean chocolate chunk cookies with nuts and caramel, real butter, eggs, and both white and brown real sugars, and offered it to me, there is a 90% chance I would take one. Or two.  I accept their grace because I know that love went into the cookies.  Maybe that person didn’t know about my dietary goals or plans.  Because I have no physical need to avoid any component in those cookies, no allergy, and one cookie (or two depending on size) won’t kill me, I would rather take a small hit for their grace and love.

So why then is the aversion to no-meat dishes not seen as a slap in the face of grace and love? 

In Lifestyle Medicine there are 6 pillars.  One pillar is diet, the Whole Foods Plant Based diet primarily.  It is fairly the biggest pillar.  Another pillar is connection.  How often can we sacrifice connection to stick with the diet?  Is this any healthier over the long run?  Is it healthy to always turn our noses at anything that doesn’t conform to our lifestyle beliefs. 

Is it a satisfaction issue? Has our palate de-evolved to recognize that there are plant based, high protein (and high fat) foods that do satiate?  Admittedly, I often had dealt with this thought trying to figure out meals for home that were not from the small menu of plant based home cooking established.  However, being mindful of how we felt after a meal, regardless of meat content, only took a few seconds.  Over time, this also helped evolve our mindset.  Instead of, “We need a complex protein to round this out like chicken.” It was, “This will be a filling meal with just whole grains, a veg, and a legume.” 

Regardless of the palate, one meal won’t hurt, it won’t kill, it won’t change you, it won’t make you healthier for life.  But one meal can show respect. It can accept love.  It can spark a change.  Whether it be a tiny lapse for the better or worse, it can be an experience to be mindful about and then move on. 

If we think we have a lot of time, we end up with very little.  If we think we have little, we end up with a lot. 

So in my meantime, I will still make these no-meat, whole food, largely beany dishes out of love.  I am not pushing, I am offering.  Take it or leave it.